Gho-Gurt ooOOoOoOOOoo
It's yogurt in a tube! But we added the word "ghost." :)
What are ghosts but yogurt in tubes, if you really think about it?
Don’t think about it. Please don’t think about it. This is the only introduction I have.
GHO-GURT
By: Hallie Koontz
Sometimes you need a quick, pack-it-easy snack like Go-Gurt. And did you know:
That’s right! It’s just regular yogurt! That means you can make it yourself—AND you can make it Hereafter/ghost-themed by just adding that one H and channeling all the “screw it” energy you can muster into taking the yogurt and putting it someplace else. Gho-Gurt is a popular snack for the young’uns at Valley Public Elementary because most of the parents have this exact same feeling (also, the school district really needs the sponsorship money).
HALLIE
The school found a new food sponsor so now they have to figure out a way to incorporate Go-Gurt or lettuce into every school lunch because that’s part of their sponsorship. I don’t have a hypothetical company.EMILY
Go-Gurt.KYLE
Go-Gurt but it’s spelled G-H-O because it’s ghost yogurt.
There are no links to pre-existing recipes this time on account of: I put yogurt in a tube. Once upon a time I did have designs that involved putting ~ fancy ~ yogurt in tubes, like, yogurt I’d mixed with peanut butter or nutella or frozen fruit to make it a semi-smoothie. But then an already-flavored yogurt was on sale at Target, so I got that instead. Ergo, the ingredients this time are . . .
. . . this yogurt (chosen because it was on sale, it’s yummy, and the consistency is easier to drink than Greek yogurt) and these tiny little pouches I got from Amazon that I think are for toddlers to drink applesauce from.
They’re nice pouches, though. Dishwasher and freezer safe. Who knows what I’ll get up to with these babies once I’ve drunk all the yogurt.
Because, folks: that’s all I did. I took heaping spoonfuls of yogurt and shoveled them into the bottom of the pouch, and now they’re all in the fridge, waiting for me, except the one I had this morning for breakfast. As such, I don’t have pictures of the actual process, because it was really hard to take pics while I was doing the thing.
Now, Hallie, you might say: this is a pretty pathetic recipe. There’s not even, like, blue food coloring to make it ghost-y. What is the point. You’re just advertising for Stonyfield yogurt and Amazon pouches at this point. And you’re right.
But CONSIDER THIS.
I outlined the continents on the back of the pouches so now they’re ghosts. :)
And they looked even better once the yogurt was IN the pouches because then they looked like classic sheet ghosts. :)
Look at them. :) Imagine a child, or you, an adult, probably, opening their little lunchbox to see a tiny boo ghost. :) Are you happy about it? You should be.
RALPH is happy. Be like Ralph.
Ralph is the 10-foot-tall inflatable plague doctor who comes to visit my house every October. Please be kind and understanding about the fact that he is lopsided; it was windy, and Ralph doesn’t do well in the wind. But he wanted some Gho-Gurt, and so I shared. :)
As far as the taste goes—it’s yogurt. I’ll admit I don’t love the feeling of drinking from a pouch, but I’ll also admit that it grew on me after a few minutes. I might even have a second one today. If it was a little warmer I’d pack one in a tiny Ghibli-esque lunch sack and take it to the park. But it’s not warm, so my second one will probably be underneath a blanket watching Over the Garden Wall or The Crucible. Something fall-y.*
Anyway. Here’s the “recipe.”
*Update: my second pouch was like one hour after this, standing in my kitchen with my eye twitching because I burnt my fried rice.
The Actual Recipe
Prep Time: However long it takes you to go to the grocery store
Cook Time: 10 minutes, and this is actually shoveling time more than cook time
Servings: I have 6 pouches
Calories per serving: 150 to 200
Ingredients
Yogurt
Any yogurt your little heart desires
Tubes/pouches
Any tube or pouch your little heart desires
Directions
Get a spoon
Put some yogurt on that spoon
Put that spoon into the pouch (my pouches open on the bottom)
This will be a messier process than you think; have a napkin on hand
Also: careful not to overfill the pouches. Those suckers are small. Like, for-children small. Don’t get cocky like I did, fam.
Seal the pouch and stick it in the fridge
Eat it Whenever You Want